I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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