I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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