Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How does one acquire holy water?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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