I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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