I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
