And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
