How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
