so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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