Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
