I hate your face
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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