We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
