the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize