at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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