the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
