Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
