After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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