i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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