"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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