We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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