Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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