You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
