she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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