the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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