Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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