How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
