Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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