why didn't you poke me back
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
