I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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