names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Alive.
So much puke
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
