So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
