everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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