On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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