a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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