Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
