Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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