We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
