I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
