Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
