Sponge bath it is.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize