just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
