I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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