"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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