my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize