I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
