I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
