it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
