You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize