Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
