How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
