Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.