If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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