well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
