***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
