She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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