Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They have beer where we have blood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
