I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
