You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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