He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
