i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize