Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
