You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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