What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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